Earons joke series?

[albion]

"Awww Sweetie, I was talking about your knife. Your knife is big and hard."

"Earons must be from Texas, he had a big belt buckle and a little pecker."

"Why you looking up here fool, the joke is..."

I thought it might be nice to collect any jokes we might find. They dont all have to be about his pecker.

[cofw]

Reference your sources, Albion. Did he really have a pecker?

[Mr Hood]

I don't know about Albion's source but mine is Michelle McNamara truecrimediary.com/index.cfm?page=cases&id=126 ''Physically he's most often described as 5'9 to 5'11, with a swimmer's build. Lean, but with a muscular chest and noticeably big calves. Very small penis, both narrow and short. 9-91/2 shoe size. Dirty blonde hair. Bigger than normal nose. Type A blood, non-secretor''
There's something in Larry Crompton's 'Sudden Terror' book too iirc.
But that's EAR/ONS one, number two was normal size. 
JMO

[Mr Hood]

Ha, I got caught there, smartypants CofW

[albion]

Reddit was clearly an inch or so above the rest of the small dick joke sites. And the comments after were even better. The small dick haiku was enlightening. I am going to try and keep this little intro short, but, I would hope that earon's significant other reads this. I mean he or she is the one who truly suffered.

www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cb93e/make_a_small_penis_joke_about_yourself/

My penis is so small that you can't simultaneously determine its position and velocity.

my penis is so small i put a red and white condom on it and let my gf play wheres waldo in my pubes

My penis is so small I can read a dvd with it.

When I run into a wall with a boner, I'd break my nose.

My husband just bought a box of condoms and it says on the box "Feels like nothing's there!" I told him it feels like that without the condom, too.

My penis is 3 inches....from the floor!....while laying on my stomach

Why? I'm not ashamed of my penis. It may not be long, but it sure is skinny.

My penis is so small, I have personality.

I like to paraphrase Eazy-E to my wife
"I'm gonna slap you upside the head with nine inches of limp dick", even if it takes me four times.

My penis is so small I've been deepthroated by a gerbil.
My penis is so small I can thread a needle.
My penis is so small I wear Ed Hardy everything.
My penis is so small I have toothpick envy.
My penis is so small Barbie left me for Ken.

My penis is so small I use it as foreplay for when I finger my girlfriend.

My penis only has a tip... it is like someone has glued an acorn... to the bottom of my torso.

I'm hung like a horse....fly.

I'm hung like a finch

My penis is so small that in an alternate universe it tells jokes to other penises on reddit about me being so large.

I call it Winky the one eyed one inch wonder worm.

My penis is so small that its harder to find than your gspot.

[albion]

1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?

5. Your dick's so small, bacteria laugh at it.

11. There's bread harder than your dick.

19. When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?

26. What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what'd you have?

28. Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.

31. Your dick's so small, I haven't laughed that hard since I saw your balls.

34. Your dick's so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.
35. Your dick's so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.
36. You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.

38. Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.

41. Your dick's so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.
42. Your dick's so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.
43. Your dick's so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.
44. The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.
45. Your dick's so small, you think it's gonna explode when you cum.

48. The only thing your dick's bigger than is a grain of dust.
49. Your dick's so small, you piss on your nuts.
50. Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.

[albion]

So that's why he had the tool belt on, he had tool envy?
Naked from the waist down, and still no one saw his junk?
The thing about earons, women couldnt pretend they enjoyed sex with him unless he had a knife.
If earons had a license to kill, his designation would have been ".007". Inches or centimeters?


60 things not to say to a guy with a small penis

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.

4. Why don't we just cuddle?

6. It's more fun to look at.

7. Make it dance.

9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

12. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.

16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

17. Oh no, a flash headache.

18. (giggle and point)

19. Can I be honest with you?

20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

23. This explains your car.

24. You must be a growing boy.

26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.

27. Are you one of those pygmies?

30. All right, a treasure hunt!

31. I didn't know they came that small.

32. Why is God punishing you?

33. At least this won't take long.

36. But it still works, right?

38. It looks so unused.

39. Do you take steroids?

40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.

42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.

44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?

45. Aww, it's hiding.

46. Are you cold?

47. If you get me real drunk first.

51. Were you neutered?

52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

53. Does it come with an air pump?

54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.

58. Never mind, why bother.

60. Where's the rest of it?